 : 1:03 AM Date: Saturday, July 12 Title: STRESS STRESS STRESS STRESS STRESS 1st week of school, 4 days , i'm blardy absent for 3.75 days, hahaha, thats a vvv gd starting. Well done uh, 5*(s). What the hell is wrong with me, i'm sick, mentally, physically, socially too. i learn psychology, so whaaaaaat ? i think i neeed one psychologist instead, seriously, ): i pour out to darling, he consoled me, thanks for being there for me, your love & prescence is more than enough. i know myself, i know my weaknesses, lastly, i'm supar faaat, Mayb u guys can say i'm having depression, Mayb i'm in the few top stages symptons of it. i guess so, i'm jst on the vvv verge of gg haywire offf to thhhhee negaativeeee sidee of lifeeee. Mayb i'm thinking too much, But a lot of things bothers me, i couldn't hvr proper nights, ( Bad dreams almost everyday, so how m'i suppose to restwell? ) i couldn't take in food regularly, ( at times, i hvr no appetite at all, or mayb crave 4 an AppleBite ) i couldn't control my emotional side of me, ( 7 days 1 week, i can tear for 5 days ) * ahroy dear, hvr hard time comforting me, sweeet-talkings. i coudn't feeeel happiness, ( at least with Darling, i feeel it lah ) Lastly, i'm nt what i wannabe nw, i'm nt what i used to be alr, i'vr nt being behaving liaaak myself, i'vr being feeeeeling vvv empty in Np, yah lah, laugh whatever you all want. i don't hvr clinque in Np, i don't hvr bonding with my class P13, i don't hvr sense of belonging ( similar to miang ) i don't hvr sense of warmth & secure in Np, Worst of all, i'vr good friends now, but, i'm still feeeeeling in this way. & i still feeel i'm Friend-less T.T Friends ( now ), Friends ( in the past ), Friends ( Classmates ) Friends ( Schoolmates ), Friends ( lecturemates ), Friends ( PracticaMates) i knw how badly i perform as a friend, or mayb as a gdfriend, i knw i'm nt a person, ppl can understand well, i knw i'm nt a vvv sociable type of friends, i knw i'm a vv irritating & annoying kinda of friend, thats results in, having foes in the same class, 4A. Or mayb nt Foes, i'm in their eye's lil devil. As you can seee, our ExClass isn't vv cooperative, + i don't even feeel that i belongED to 4A b4, ohwells, i wont bother abt this, but its kinda sad, when there's gathering, & all of us cannot be liak, * be our own self, liak bcus " Jasmine is here". or mayb, " i cannot be my own self, bcus " Dey are here ". So, excuse me from any class gatherings in future i guess, Bday parties, bashes, chalets, i will absent myself, just to liaaak make others ( ppl who hate me ), feeel btr. i'm nt saying i don't liaaak all these, just that, i don't feeel liaaak i'm partta of the class, & also, liaak of course i do hope to attend bday bashs, of course it's fun exciting interesting, but, people choose their own friends, dey choosen others, bt not me. Bcus i guess, i'm nt gg to bring happiness to dem, instead anger/jealousy/or mayb bitchy to dem. CT 01, FON : A+ AAP: D MIC: D+ NSL: A+ PAS: C+ haha, from these, you can seee how well i did for my nursing. yah lah, i knw to many of the teenagers/ human beings, Nursing is a low-degree job, dirty job, digusting job. To me: Last time, nursing wasn't so much of importance to me, i always thought that nurse is just a maid helping the doc. Now, after 1 term is gone, i feeel that nursing is important, everywhere need nursing, In order to carry out nursing skills, there is a lot of scarifices to be made. Although i'vr nt made up my mind in becoming a nurse, But, i learnt a lot during attachments, ): Looking @ those ill patients, alone in a stranger place, without any love,care,concern. My heart soften, & always wanted to help, looking @ the smiles in their faces, or a " thankyou" i'm satisfy enough, it can last me or at least motivate me to hang on, there's ppl out there showing you that, your prescence are in great help, & at least dey felt love. i'm not saying that me(nurse) is vvvv great or what lah, i'm just trying to emphasis on, or getting this thing in ppl's mind, NURSING IS DEFINATELY NOT A LOW-DEGREE JOB/ DIRTY JOB + ITS NOT HELPING PATIENTS' TO WIPE THEIR BUTTOCKS AFT THEY SHIT/URINE, & NURSES ARE NOT MAIDS. IT MAKES GREAT EFFORT FOR HUMANBEING TO LEARN & STUDY HOW TO TAKCARE OF ONESELF, ESP: NEEDY'S ONE. although at times, i felt liaaak dropping out from this course, bcus of the stress, 6 subjects, 2 non-examinable, 4 memorising subject, is devilhead for me uh. But nw, i'm trying to at least revise, work hard, & stop complaining so much, save the time to study. Also i shd stop spending so much time in my personal life, & mayb to start studying alr, 3 weeks of postage to NUH, Practical Skills tested, Behaviour Tested, Communication Tested. i wonder how would i do for it, hopefully a B bahs, (: & for CT02, i hope i can improve my C & D to B & A. JASMINE, PUT IN MORE EFFORT LAH, PLEASE? AT LEAST FOR YOUR OWN SAKE, BLESS* Ahroy Dear, Harpy Belated 4th Monthsary (: i'll love you as i love you in secondary 1, to replace the love that we both hvr missed out, to replace the time that we both shd hvr being tgt, to replace the memories we both hvr nvr shared b4, as days goes by, we'll get btr in time, <3. My love, thanks for being there always for me, Thanks for all the scarifices, loving care & concern you'd shown to me, we will, & we must, walk this never ending path tgt, i promise. Although misunderstandings still do occurs sometimes, but it's common, every 1 misunderstanding, will be leading us to every 1 step closer in understanding each other btr (: Miangy, Baddy, My bestie Friend (: I think you're liaaak pluto, Mickey's Campanion, Bcus i'm Mickey, You're Pluto (: Whereever,Whenever you'll always follow me thru things that i'd nvr went thru b4, loves. woohoooo, we're both stressed up by different things, but i'll nvr forget your hardcore friendship man, omg, recalling, it's kinda bad, but anw, we're still Bestie Friend overall, so no worries (: i also love you, liaak how u do. Anything, beep me up, & make sure you also take greaaat care of yourself girl (: & thanks for all the things you'd did for me, Bday Song, Patrick ClayModel, (J)Mug, Books, Chocolates, Poems , liaaak the Moon & Stars. We'll shine definately tgt, as we strive, ~ & thanks alot of always being there for me, even though i might nt be always available for you. XieXie AhMiang Baddy , :D BFF, PeiRong, (: i'vr long chats with you forever man, omg, you'd given me a special enhance feelings, thats allows me to spill everything outta to you, in a very comfortable way, Magic Spells cast do you? wahahhaas, anw, i liaak those Spells you'd cast on me, bcus i'm in neeeeed of a friend liaak youuu. Credits to : Pauline & Tzw For introducing you to me (: Thanks yeah, although we jst got to knw each other liaaaak it was ytd only, bt we'vr tons lots to chatter on. You're just liaaak my guardian angel, Or a SPY from outer space? Do Spy and cast spells on me? laughs, anw, you're also lacking of sleeep my dear, chiong project also neeeda sleeep lah, moreover, when you'vr sch the next day, (: Let's jiayou ohkaaay? or mayb find a day out to study, though i think it will end up Chattering Non-Stop x= Lastly, Thanks for being my friend (: loves <3. AhSot, SiewFong dearest, (: omg, thanks for all the comforting words man. i'm still happy what you're stil concern abt me, & also misses me whn i'm nt around , x= woohooo, you're liaaak my Mommmey, without you, i feeeel insecure & also empty. Therefore, we neeeeda build up our friendship ties, or mayb relationship ties hor, Mommey? hahaa, :D & nvr you dare to ignore me hor, hahaaaa, i shit & urine for you to eat. >.<> we mst try to work harder for btr grades, & also strive to become a btr nurse (: Jody, Dou Hua ah Dou Hua, you ah, call me dou nai, i'm named: jasmine, nt " dou nai" hahhaaa (: anw, thanks for the care & concern girl, i think i only hvr you & siewfong as a closer friend in Nursing P13. :D thanks for helping me take notes, or signing for me (: we neeeda work doubly hard for our results too, & stop working liaaak Non-Stop Can? We put in more effort in Studying kay? hahaaa, x= When's photoshot? & You & I mst be GoodFriendsForever. i'm fat, i'm fat, i'm fat. 45kg pls. 4-5 more kg(s) to go, jiayou (: i'm somehow suffering from, lack of self confidence. |
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